Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?

Skeet.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.

It was so cold last winter ... (How cold was it?) ... that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.

A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates. "$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep" asked the man? "Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"

You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

Shoot the lawyer. Twice.