Some
Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read
them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people
they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand:
OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous
influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds
of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you
try.
CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something
of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with
Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius.
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface
of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner
hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their
right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch
to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the
key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested
in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and
are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
POSSUM (April 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency
to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes
you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy
is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you. You
are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are
a night person and mind your own business.
CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around
the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool
to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to
be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in "the
melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of
those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and
baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards,
stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers
may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to
understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer
the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most.
Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so
maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go?
Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time.
If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves
you well. You are pure in heart.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct
23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those
who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality
is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because
you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead
and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed
life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull
over and stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along
well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown
on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting.
You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything
to do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually
quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire,
some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not
concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with
anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and
behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo.
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